Awkward Invite Christmas Forecast 1012x140

Jesus and The Bachelorette

The following is an edited excerpt from Knox McCoy's new book of essays, Jesus and The Bachelorette. Knox McCoy is an author on SkitGuys.com and you can preview and download his scripts here!

Listen. I know. You’re skeptical. Jesus and The Bachelor/ette? These two elements aren't just apples and oranges; they are apples and oranges held exclusively by orangutans.

But before you have a chance to calculate my degree of sacrilege just hear me out. If I can find three things that Jesus and The Bachelor/ette have in common right now, promise me you’ll read the book and refer it to someone else? Ok? Ok. You totally just promised.

Similarity #1

The show and the church are both institutions of this great country and they represent a belief in something greater than themselves: love and supernatural faith, respectively.

Admit it. You thought I was bluffing didn’t you? Like maybe this was really going to be a book about the reality tv in general or something. No way, baby. I'm all in on this. To borrow a phrase coined by the American icon, Buzz Lightyear, I’ll extend this metaphor “to infinity and beyond” if I have to.

So given that initial similarity, can we find another one? Yes, dear reader. Yes we can.

Similarity #2:

Chris Harrison, the show’s host, is a Christ-figure.

Totally kidding there. Just wanted to make sure you were still around. Chris Harrison is as much a Christ-figure as I am a mathematician. And to qualify that analogy, I did so poorly in the math section of my ACT that my advisor thought there had been a computer error or power outage. There wasn’t. It was just my brain doing it's very best not to collapse in on itself.

Ok, for real this time.:

Similarity #2

If we agree that the show and the church exist to perpetuate the ideals of love and faith, then we can also agree that sometimes, they don’t do so well.

No big shock there. Both are human constructs only as capable as we are and judging from episodes of the Jersey Shore, as a race of beings, we are lacking. We may be fist pumping, but, fundamentally, as a society we are lacking.

So that’s two things in common.

Are you getting nervous yet? How are you going to tell your friends and family that you bought a book about The Bachelorette? That’s going to be mortifying. Though I suppose, not as mortifying as being the guy who actually wrote the book, but that’s neither here nor there. What does matter though is that Similarity #3 is coming at you like a Corinthian hurricane fueled by agape love.

Similarity #3:

Both the show and the Church feature people who are searching and in this search they are vulnerable because the pursuit of faith and love are inextricably linked to a reliance on things we don’t and never will fully understand.

So boom goes the dynamite, right? That’s three and since I did those three, you KNOW I can find more. You’re talking about a guy who specializes in strange analogies.

For example, one of the chapters in this book includes a metaphor prominently involving Alex Trebek. So I mean, if nothing else, buy this book because you can never talk enough about Al Trebek, righ?

So get on with it. Buy the book. Learn about the relationship between God and The Bachelorette. It will be fun. And I mean you did promise, remember?

You can buy Knox’s new book, Jesus and The Bachelorette here or on Amazon for your Kindle. You should also see his scripts on SkitGuys.com, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, follow him on Twitter and pray for his wife.